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Sputnik'sWorstEnemy (Hannah), Gordano School

Sputnik's Guide to Life on Earth

After being persistently reminded of Frank Cotrell Boyce and his supposedly admirable language, I declare myself disappointed by the waste of space in my local library that is Sputnik's Guide to the Life On Earth. The comparison of this despicable, deranged and tasteless story for five-year-olds to the other serious books in this competition disgusts me and makes my life seem invaluable if it is a demonstration of what life holds. The rest of the books have clearly been selected professionally and carefully, whereas I assume this unmentionable creation was added merely to emphasise the quality of the others.
The highly flawed and unskillful writing is pointless and meaningless, and I can only apologise to Frank Cotrell Boyce for having to spend actual time on this book, although at least he clearly did not have to sacrifice much effort.
The only thing that vaguely makes any sense within the novel are the overly-generous reviews, which states that it is a hilarious story. Indeed, Boyce's weak attempt to release a book that anyone with a reasonable IQ could possibly enjoy is indeed an appropriate thing to laugh at.
However, I must thank Boyce for his writing, which has proved so preposterously unendurable that I would never even consider approaching it again. I am grateful to have been spared of this fate, so I never again have to fight against the nagging dread in the back of my mind that I may have to spend but a few minutes of my life reading it that night.
This insufferable novel reminds me of a witch's concoction to ruin the innocent lives of young children, with its cringe-worthy and pathetic humour, pictures to help out those who cannot read well enough to notice what a diabolical example of a terrible idea this book is and its incomprehensible comparison to Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It is understandable to agree with this statement, after an eventful night of alcohol consumption. It would be more accurate to describe as a feeble failure in trying to plagiarise someone else's idea instead of bothering to summon the effort to devise an original one.
Furthermore, the bright crimson cover with annoying caricatures inflicts a negative judgement before the pain has even begun.
Therefore, my conclusive sentence would be: always remember to judge a book by its cover.

Posted on: 19th June 2017 at 12:12 pm

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